Lovely Allergen

CH 59

Chapter 59: The Road of Love

The wind blew Yue Zhishi’s hair into disarray. He gazed at Song Yu, and he looked slightly helpless — but the words that left his mouth were very firm. “I’m not scared.”

Song Yu had already guessed Yue Zhishi would reply that way. He truly was a very stubborn child. 

And then, Yue Zhishi lowered his eyes very quickly. “I just feel a bit… distressed. I don’t have the courage to look at her.” 

He thought of Lin Rong as his own mother, and he didn’t want to hurt her at all. 

The moment he’d seen Lin Rong, he remembered the jokes Lin Rong had once said about Song Yu dating. Even though she’d been teasing him, it was very obvious she hoped Song Yu could find a girl he liked and happily, peacefully spend their lives together. 

Yue Zhishi didn’t know what he should do.

“Don’t think about it anymore.” Song Yu saw the worry on his face. He wasn’t willing to leave these complicated issues to him; they weren’t Yue Zhishi’s fault to begin with. “Let’s just head up to your dorm first.”

“Mn.” 

The dorm auntie warmly greeted them when they returned back to the dormitory building. “Your mom left?”

Yue Zhishi responded quietly, “Yes, she’s gone home.” 

“Don’t let your mom worry about you getting sick. She almost fell when she came in.” 

Yue Zhishi saw the pastries Lin Rong gave her — the packaging was easily recognisable. He could also imagine Lin Rong tripping and falling as she rushed in. She was sometimes very careless when she walked, and he was very similar to her that way.

With Lin Rong’s request, Song Yu was allowed to go upstairs together with Yue Zhishi, and he was able to enter his dormitory whenever he liked. 

It’s not like he didn’t know — he knew that as long as he signed the registration form and clearly expressed who he was, he could easily come to Yue Zhishi’s dorm to take care of him. But he really needed a reason to have a space where he could be alone with Yue Zhishi, so he ended up renting an apartment without asking, lying to himself and pretending to others. 

Luckily, fortunately, Yue Zhishi also liked him — at least for now. Or else he really would’ve made a decision based on too much one-sided wishful thinking. 

It was Sunday, and there was no one else in the dorm. Yue Zhishi opened the door, turned on the light and crawled onto his own bed, grabbing his phone next to his pillow and also seeing the inhaler Lin Rong had left.

His mood wasn’t very good. He came down from his bed, taking two sets of his own clothes from his wardrobe before putting them into his schoolbag, and also took his laptop and the turquoise stone Song Yu had given him.

Standing in front of Yue Zhishi’s desk, Song Yu noticed the chicken soup Lin Rong had spent time and effort in making — as well as the little snacks and pastries she’d left onto each desk of Yue Zhishi’s dorm mates. They were all placed neatly. 

These same habits of hers were telling him — Yue Zhishi was also a ‘son’ Lin Rong had raised.

In a complicated mood, Song Yu could feel his body going slightly numb. He’d hidden from everyone all of those little thoughts he’d had in the past, and over the course of time, it had become habit to continue hiding. He had learned to digest and absorb those feelings by himself.

But right now, he was no longer alone. He’d promised to treasure Yue Zhishi, but that decision seemed to have also pulled Yue Zhishi into the abyss of self-blame and torment. Song Yu couldn’t adjust, all of a sudden; he didn’t know what was the right direction to take.

“I’ve finished packing.” Seeing Song Yu lost in his thoughts, Yue Zhishi stretched out a hand and touched his fingers, briefly squeezing the tips. He softly said, “Let’s go.” 

Song Yu said okay, and then he took Yue Zhishi’s bag, driving them back to that secret apartment. The entire way there, the two of them tacitly avoided mentioning what had just happened. Song Yu played a soothing piece of piano music, and it covered up the silence in the car.

Yue Zhishi checked his phone: there was a startling number of over ten missed calls, as well as the WeChat messages his friends had sent. A strong desire to avoid everything swept over him, and he turned off the screen, not looking at a single message. All at once, at this very moment, he really wanted Song Yu to drive and take him away, fleeing and hiding in a place no one could find. 

But this bad idea lasted only for a few seconds before Yue Zhishi gave it up. He wasn’t willing to snatch Song Yu away, and he also wasn’t willing to leave behind Lin Rong and Song Jin.

After he calmed down, Yue Zhishi sincerely replied to every single message, one by one, and then made the decision to turn off his phone.

The apartment wasn’t far from campus, and they arrived very quickly. The lights in the underground car park were very dim, and Yue Zhishi followed behind Song Yu into the elevator after getting out of the car. He sneezed once in the elevator, so Song Yu lightly held onto his waist. 

The inside of the apartment was pitch-black once they opened the door, as if it was no longer that beautiful, warm place from that afternoon. Song Yu reached out a hand, wanting to flick the light switch next to the door, but Yue Zhishi held him back. Song Yu wanted to ask him what was wrong, but in the next second, Yue Zhishi was hugging him, his face buried into his collarbones. He didn’t say anything, and yet he seemed to be comforting Song Yu with this embrace.

The strange thing was — it was as if they naturally, logically deserved to be in the dark.

Yue Zhishi’s arms were crossed behind Song Yu’s back, and they stroked up and down very lightly, trying to ease Song Yu’s tense mood. He spoke only after a long while passed. “I’m hungry. We should have the soup.”

Song Yu said sure and turned on the light.

The chicken soup held red dates and goji berries, as well as nourishing ginger and fish maw. The soup shined golden, and the familiar fragrance of it wafted into their faces as soon as they lifted the lid. Yue Zhishi took out their newly bought porcelain bowls and soup spoons, pouring the soup into them after he washed them. He thought of his childhood once he took a small sip — his body had been weak, and with so many things he’d been unable to eat, Lin Rong had delivered food to his school every day up until he graduated elementary school. She’d accompanied him every day in the cafeteria, waiting for him to finish eating.

There was no one who didn’t envy him for having such a beautiful ‘mom’ who could cook. So the younger Yue Zhishi, when he was outside, didn’t call her Aunt Rong; he’d delighted in having other people praising his mother as being so talented.

This pitiful sense of pride truly did satisfy Yue Zhishi as a child.

“Have some more.” Song Yu placed a chicken drumstick, stewed until it was falling to pieces, into his bowl.

Yue Zhishi watched Song Yu, vaguely wondering if he’d made a wrong choice — should he have kept hidden the fact that he liked him? Would it have been better for everyone if he’d held on for a bit?

Time flowed exceedingly slowly in the quiet air of the room. Yue Zhishi really wanted to say something to cheer Song Yu up, but Song Yu kept speaking, saying he needed to remember to take his medicine, he’ll check his temperature in a bit, he needed to remember to message his mom — he spoke as he stood by the sink, washing the dishes.

Song Yu usually didn’t speak so much; he’d always been the quietest one. Contrarily enough, his speaking so much made Yue Zhishi uneasy. His thoughts were very messy, and his heart was also confused. He had been too naive: he’d thought he entered heaven just by being able to be together with Song Yu, but once he returned back to reality, he realised this heaven was very likely to be hell for the people they loved.

This must be why Song Yu had always kept silent about his feelings.

That entire night, Yue Zhishi listened to Song Yu’s instructions very peacefully. He took his meds, cleaned up, and when he returned back to his room, the blanket Song Yu had brought into his room last night was missing. He couldn’t help but be a bit disappointed, but he didn’t want to create a larger burden for Song Yu — so he kept silent.

He lay on the bed, messaging Lin Rong to say the chicken soup was very delicious and to ask whether she’d safely returned home.

Lin Rong replied swiftly, and she even sent over a photo of Cotton Candy and Orange cuddling together in sleep. 

[Aunt Rong: Has your brother cheered up a bit?]

Yue Zhishi said very honestly, he didn’t seem to have.

Lin Rong replied once again very quickly.

[Aunt Rong: You should coax your brother a bit. He always likes to be by himself whenever he’s not happy, and that really worries me. He’s grown up now, and he’s not willing to tell mom anything anymore. Luckily he still has you by his side — he laughs and smiles more when he’s with you. It would be nice if he could rely on us a bit more like you do.]

Reading Lin Rong’s words, Yue Zhishi thought for a few seconds.

[Le Le: Aunt Rong, one day, if you feel like gege or I hurt you, can you not be angry with him? You can just be angry with me — it doesn’t matter if you want to hit me or yell at me. Gege really, really loves you. I really love you too, but if we did something wrong, it would definitely be my fault.]

Lin Rong rapidly responded.

[Aunt Rong: What are you talking about, have you done something you’re too scared to tell me? But there shouldn’t be, the two of you are such good children. You need to tell me if you’re not happy, I’ll help you guys fix it. What’s the point in having parents otherwise? And I know you guys both really love me, really love dad — I’ll never be angry with you guys.]

After a little while, he received another message.

[Aunt Rong: I’ll be angry just for a little bit at most. You guys can just sweet talk me and I’ll be fine.]

Yue Zhishi sniffed.

[Le Le: Mn. Love you